Things that make my brain go round...: Why I never win at chess...

I’ve spent the afternoon in a café getting thrashed at chess. Just when I thought I was about to pull out a nifty move, The Boy would throw a curve ball in the form of a new rule...

“Oh, I forgot to tell you my little character can still fight and kill YOUR little guy even though yours moved TWO spaces and is actually next door to my little guy …”

…or…

“Oh yes, I forgot to say that the king can shout over to the castle who will just hop over right next to him so he can switch squares if the castle hasn’t left his home already…”

…not forgetting…

“OK, so if I get my little pawn guy to the end of the board I can switcheroo the queen back into the game….”

We are in Laos, in a town called Vientiane. We only arrived from Thailand yesterday. It’s super French here and I adore it. There are cafés everywhere with actual French bread and croissants and the one we have been chess-ing in serves red wine at a decent price, so I am a very happy Hannan today.

To be good at chess you need to be able to predict what the other person is going to do…in like, 5 moves time, and block them. I find this tricky. I tend to predict that The Boy will DEFINITELY move his horse head over there to protect his pointy bishop and so I put everything in place ready to deal with this situation. However, then he goes right ahead and smashes my castle into oblivion with one of his little guys! Or does one of the naughty tricky moves mentioned above, and catches me off guard. Every time!

Me playing chess is very similar to me as a traveler, (and as a person actually!) in that I always predict what I think is going to happen. I’m always COMPLETELY sure that it will be a certain way, POSITIVE I will feel or experience something like this or that and put my guard up (or down) accordingly. However, as with chess (and life), things are very rarely as I expect them to be. Here are a few tales of things that have gone a lot better (and worse) than my predictions as we adventured through India and Thailand…

...The Ganges at dusk...

We had such a great time journeying round India. We visited temples, let wild monkeys climb all over us, visited an elephant in an elephant sanctuary and painted on his wrinkly old side before scrubbing him clean in the bath. We ate amazing food, discovered new dishes and even ate home cooked food in a local woman's house. We chased kites and flew them from the rooftop of our hotel during the kite festival in Jaipur, and witnessed cremations on the Ganges as the sun went down. It was really so magical, the whole experience.

...Mother Earth gently looking
out over the Ganges...

In preparing for India, many people, blogs and articles I read told me to ‘prepare for a SENSORY OVERLOAD’ and ‘India is the LOUDEST and BRIGHTEST country in the world’ and ‘NOTHING can prepare you for visiting here!!!’ It scared me a bit. But it kind of turned out to be true. I was prepared for all of the stuff I was warned about, the loud streets, constant horn honking, overpowering sights, smells, sounds… But what I wasn’t prepared for was how COLD it was! I knew that January was winter in India, as in England, but really…come on…it’s INDIA. It might be winter but it’s at least a ‘vest in the daytime and a jumper at night’ kind of winter…right?

...A cold day at the Taj Mahal...

Nope. I was freezing. For the best part of 2 weeks. In Agra, Varanasi and Khujaraho I wore 4 layers even in the day (and pyjamas under my jeans and 2 pairs of socks).
I had brought one jumper and one pair of trousers. I was so wrong in my prediction of winter in North India. Finally, we decided we were tired of being cold and flew to our next destination… THAILAND!

After being so cold in India I was so excited to feel the blast of hot air on my face as we stepped out of Bangkok airport the following morning.

...The view from our balcony...

We checked into a hotel on Khao San Road, (a travelers microuniverse all on one road) with a balcony overlooking the street. There was a stall playing music very loudly right outside the window, and the hubbub of bars, shops and people streamed through the nonexistent windows around the top of our room. It was noisy, but I predicted that by the evening the stall owner would have packed up and gone home and the only noise would be merriment of people in bars that played music at a normal level. We could cope with merriment and music at a reasonable level…

...In the street outside our hotel
(It was still 'merriment' at this point...)

Then, the night rolled around. And I have never in my life been subjected to such a cacophony of clamor as I did that night. Does sound rise..?? It seemed to. As I stood on the balcony looking at the rabble below (not merry-makers anymore, it’s 3am, they are officially a rabble now) I tried to make out any of the 4, 5, 6 songs being blasted at extreme decibels from the many bars below. At one point I think I heard “I will survive”, which I took strength from, hoping it was a sign from God that you can’t die from ‘loud music’. I shouted to The Boy, who was sat RIGHT NEXT TO ME and told him I was going to try and sleep. He didn’t hear me. I had to tap him and mouth the words to him. That evening did not go as predicted...

I felt a fool actually because someone had actually tried to warn us by scrawling on the wall of the room:

...Note the sexy glass...

...Note the sleepy eyes...

“If you want to sleep,

DO NOT STAY IN THIS ROOM!!!”

I had laughed it off earlier in the day, “ahh, the foolishness of a ‘newbie’ traveler. Obviously not used to hard springy mattresses and bugs climbing in your nose as you sleep!” Turned out I was the fool after all.

As with India, I spent some time researching Thailand and had stocked up on all my medical supplies before leaving the UK. This included DEET as I had read that mosquitos will bite me to tiny pieces and make cocktails out of my blood if I don’t protect myself! I was prepared for this and predicted one or two bites over my time in Thailand. However… I awoke the next morning, having slept very little (remember the cacophony?) to feet the size of rugby balls with approximately 150 (yes I counted) bites covering them.

...The remains of the Mozzie Feast of 2015...

It was terrifying. Was it one gluttonous creature that found the motherlode in my tootsies? Or had one guy got his fill then called his entire family (and their neighbours) to join the feast? Who knows? All I do know is the itching was UNBEARABLE for about 10 days and the swelling of my feet made the whole drama seem so much worse.

We found a new room to sleep in away from the street for the next few nights and had a good time in Bangkok. Then, having had our fill of city life, we traveled south via bus, to a more beachy scene, arriving in Tonsai bay, Railey the next morning.

Railey is my most favourtie place out of the places we visited in Thailand, particularly Tonsai, a quieter bay, accessible from Railey via a rocky jungle path.

...Our incredible view from Tonsai beach...

Beachy accommodation falls into one of two categories generally; posh hotel room with access to a pool, or… bungalows! Bungalows are bamboo huts with palm leaf roofs, usually with a cold water shower and toilets (minus flush).

...The view from Railey beach...

Being on a budget (and with adventure deep in our souls) we opted for bungalows mostly. The moment I stepped inside I predicted I was going to struggle. You can imagine exactly how I felt about the idea of being in a hut that was open at the roof to the surrounding jungle. A hut that is also open from below by gaps between the floorboards, and on the balcony had a spider web so thick I was worried I’d get trapped in it.

(If you can't imagine why, you need to click HERE to read my blog about fears!!)

...Me, on the balcony of our hut, probably not even
thinking about spiders and snakes..!

I predicted seeing many horrors and hating every last minute. However, I was totally wrong. I saw not one spider (though plenty of lizards!) and the use of a mozzie net at night meant I could sleep soundly knowing nothing could crawl into my mouth or hair as I slept.

...Our hut in Phra Thong...

A week or two later, on the island of Phra Thong, I realized my hut in Railey had lulled me into a false sense of security. I boldly strode into our bathroom (night time, dark, no electricity, tiny beam of torchlight) and shone upon a spider the size of a tarantula casually waiting by the toilet.

I freaked.

After that I predicted that the spiders were out to get me (again, if you’ve read my blog called ‘Spideyphobia’ you will completely know where I’m coming from!) and made The Boy check everything before I put it on, sat on it, picked it up, looked at it, thought about it… I could tell he was growing weary of this. The last morning, as I prepared to pack my backpack, I timidly asked The Boy to check the side pocket, as it had been unzipped, open to the dangers of nature for a few days and anything could be lying in wait for me. He sighed and began rummaging through it.

Suddenly, he pulled his hand back and hollered, “SPIDER!” I thought at first it was a feeble trick to highlight how unlikely it would be that a spider HAD actually crawled into my backpack to spook me. But a spider HAD actually climbed INTO my backpack! The same huge tarantula sized monster that was hanging round our toilet!

The Boy shook the spider away, flinging it down between the slats of the floor onto the sand below and I stood, confused and saddened by the fact that my prediction had been accurate.

Sadly, this wasn’t the only time I was correct in my predictions of terror.

...Beautiful Ko Lanta...

While staying on the island of Ko Lanta, we decided to rent a moped and cruise around the island in style, exploring the various beaches and restaurants it had to offer.

I predicted terrible injury and gravel scraped into our skin as we tumbled onto the asphalt, but The Boy once had a moped as a teenager and confidently zoomed about, with me on the back, trying to feel brave and gripping on for dear life. When it was my turn, I nervously accelerated down the straight road, and found it was actually quite easy! Accelerate to go, brake to stop. Simple! Then… we came to a bend in the road. I tried turning the handles but we kept going straight. Straight into the path of an oncoming moped! I freaked and tried to brake, putting my flip-flopped feet down onto the road to stop myself as if I was riding a pedal bicycle. But this was a bit faster than a pedal bicycle and by the time the brakes had stopped us, a foot away from this confused and agitated mopedder, my big toe was smushed into pulp and I hobbled away, shaking and embarrassed, to assess the damage.

...The 'damage'..

Turns out it wasn’t actually that bad once I’d cleaned it up, but it WAS an injury and it WAS gravel scraped inside my skin. And it WAS the last time I drove a moped.

There were many other times when my predictions of terror were proved wrong however, like the time I finally had a go putting my face in the water using a snorkel mask (again, read ‘A Hannan went to sea sea sea’ for a clearer understanding of THAT particular hurdle!) I discovered that the water won’t actually get in my nose, and it was really rather beautiful to see the fish families that were swimming on the ocean floor.

There were also times when I predicted a perfectly normal occasion and it turned out a bit terrifying. Like when The Boy, Crazy Meg, Crazy Tom and I were walking along the beach to a restaurant and we got to a shallow ‘river’ on the sand, that led from the sea away across the island. It was pitch black night time, (another reason to read my earlier blogs, this time the one about fear of the dark! This will all make sense!) and I was using the teeny-weeny beam of a teeny-weeny torch to stop myself having terrible nightmares as we walked along. Meg and Tom had started crossing the shallow river and I shone my torch in to check there weren’t rocks in my way when I spotted…

…a SNAKE.

Just chilling in the water, sliding along, having a wonderful night time adventure.

...Me and Crazy Meg, not worrying about random
sea snakes...

Obviously I screamed “SNAAAAAAKE!” and this caused Meg (who hates snakes) to cause a real splashy scene as she tried to run out of the water in a panic.

I imagine it was like in a dream when you can’t run as fast as you would like to, to escape the terrible monster. The snake wasn’t moving and had no intention of attacking anyone that evening but it was still a bit of a drama trying to get across the river, each of us imagining that the moment we entered the water it would stream towards us and bite our feet away. This unnerved me because when one is walking along a beach in the shallow sea, one does not predict a snake will be sitting waiting for you. Is nowhere safe??!

...Juice in Ko Lanta, back when I
made good choices about tap
water and ice...

My final tale is a tale of sickness. Since day one I have been waiting and waiting for the dreaded “Delhi belly” to loom upon me. I have read statistics that state that 80% of travelers get sickness within 30 days of traveling in India, Thailand etc. so obviously, being Hannan, I predicted I would get it, probably 6 times, probably in every country I visit, probably at the least convenient times like on a plane, train, night bus… Imagine my surprise when after 2 weeks in India, I was feeling as bright as a button, and imagine my further surprise, (and of course sadness) when The Boy has a terrible night of sickness in Railey while I am still fit as a fiddle?! After 30 days of traveling I decided I was ‘out of the woods’ in terms of sickness. I had escaped Delhi Belly and I was proud. But Delhi Belly had been stalking me throughout India… peeping from the shadows…creeping along behind me as I adventured through Thailand…waiting for me to make that one…crucial…mistake… and drink the tap water…

Which I did. Yesterday. On my first day in Laos. In a delightful fruit smoothie shop. It looked so clean and fresh when the waitress brought it and I thought “Well! I’ve been OK so far…” And that was the moment Delhi Belly popped up and said;

“I knew you’d slip up. Bet you didn’t predict this.”