I have this anxiety thing where I say "yes" in panic to tricky (or sometimes easy) questions just to escape an awkward situation.
I once went into B&Q because I was meeting The Boy in 10 minutes and had to kill some time. I was wandering around looking at wallpaper samples and checking my watch when I heard an announcement on the loudspeaker....
"In 4 minutes, any customers standing by the table in the garden furniture section of the store
will win a special prize..."
My ears pricked up. My brain was saying "NO NO don't bother! It'll be something you don't need and you'll definitely have to spend money. SAY NO" but my feet were already walking.
I got there and stood waiting patiently alongside 3 other people. 'Twas a bit embarrassing because we all knew why the others were there so we just looked at the garden furniture casually until the lady appeared behind the table. To cut a long story short, the 'prize' was a postcard sized sample of a magic cloth called Magicloth and as there were only 3 other people next to me (actually 2, one bailed after getting the wonderous prize) the woman made eye contact through her entire presentation and pretty much asked me personally if I wanted to buy a full size Mummy Magicloth to go home with the baby one I already had. Of course my anxious mouth had said "Yes please" before my brain had registered the question and I left the shop with not just 1 A2 sized Magicloth but 6!!! AND a Magicloth MOP!
I cannot say "no" in awkward situations. I once went into the bank a few years back to ask them to change my mobile number on their file and left with a Gold account...somehow. I went home and told my Dad and he came back into the bank WITH ME and asked them to cancel the account, informing them I had got confised and didn't really need to pay £20 a month for global travel insurance. Embarrassing.
It's a nightmare! When I go into shops, banks, answer the door, The Boy has to come with me if there is any slight chance I might be offered anything ever at all.
One day, The Boy was not with me and I stood on my doorstep for an HOUR just smiling, nodding and taking literature and books from a Jehova's Witness because I was too scared to say "no thanks, I don't need this literature, I already know about God". I've walked away backwards from street information people (the ones with the clipboards) saying all kinds of things to get them to break eye contact with me...
..."oh, I really erm.... ahh you see I'm late for...ah....OK, I will in a minute..on my way back...?"
instead of just saying "no thankyou".
I fear that I will end up in a house with many useless items like a hundred lighters ("6 lighters for a pound lady?") or a rhumba of rattlesnakes ("Could you hatch these eggs for me Hannan?") or a lodger who sells my nail varnishes for crack ("Can my buddy stay with you when he comes out of jail Hannan?")
I think "YES" has its place. Like when someone says
"Do you have a minute? I could do with a shoulder to cry on",
or
"Can you spare some change?"
or
"Big Issue miss?"
But I think it takes a strong smile and a confident Hannan to say a kind "no". BUT today I did that. A man rang up asking if I would like to discuss the cost of storing my belongings in a big yellow crate (...?) and I said "No thankyou, I don't need to store my belongings in a big yellow crate. Have a nice weekend"
And I think he will. And so will I.
