There's a time for fighting and a time for flight-ing...

They say you learn something new every day... And today's nugget of learning is brought to you by Hannan, free of charge. Listen up and switch your learning brains on because here are some facts about chickens...

...My favourite chicken
named Rainbow by me...

Did you know that when you get new chickens you can put pretend, plastic eggs in their nesting boxes as a 'reminder' of their purpose on this planet.

...OK so I didn't build the actual COOP...
...but I did get all their food ready and put the
fences up..!

So when they wander in on that first night into their new home they go "ey, Rainbow! Look at this! That seems vaguely familiar...oh NOW I remember what the point in being a chicken is! Let's have a go then..." and hopefully have a go at laying real eggs. How cute is that?!

...Collecting the eggs, but which one
is the pretend egg..?

Did you also know that chickens will respond one of two ways when they feel threatened. If you go to pick up a chicken to give it a quick snuggle she will either run away squarking and flapping her mighty wings, or she will adopt a 'brace' position, bend her knees, put her wings out a bit and freeze, still on the ground, allowing you to pick her up on her own terms, the brave little soul that she is.

She will either fight, (by accepting her fate and being real brave) or fly (almost literally).

And the funny thing about that chicken fact is that I am exactly the same. In fact, I think we all are. When faced with stress, conflict, danger or anxiety, our body goes into 'fight or flight' mode. We will either face the danger head on, or freak out and leg it right out of there.

This has been a well known feeling in my life, particularly since the start of our travels back in January. Having spent a lot of my adult life battling with the sneaky, naughty monster we call "Anxiety", I have frequently found myself facing situations in which I have to decide whether to brace myself and 'go with the flow', or give up, cry, stamp my feet and refuse to play. Now, I'm not even talking about serious incidents, or huge disasters. Even the little things in my life can trigger a 'fight or flight' moment and I often find myself standing there, deciding which way to deal with it.

If you read my previous blog, you will already know about our big decision to leave our comfy day-in-day-out lives in Surfer's Paradise and dive into the 'Helpx' network backpacks first. If you don't know about this you can hurry over now and go read it by clicking here! But if you are in a bit of a rush, like when you read a quick blog while doing a wee at work or need a 5 minute filler while riding an escalator, I'll quickly explain. Helpx involves volunteers (us) staying with hosts around the world and working at their house/farm/hostel/boat/anywhere for a few hours a day and in exchange we get free accomodation and food. It's a bit scary for people like me (control freaks) because:
a) You have no control over the type of jobs you do. Although lots of people say they are easy going they still tend to have a pretty good idea of wha they need from you.
b) You have to take a huge risk each time you stay with a new host. Being someone who likes routines, planning and in-depth detail, it can be slightly daunting turning up to stay with someone for two whole weeks without knowing anything about what they're like or what your routine will be!

So bearing these anxieties in mind, when I found out that on our first Helpx project we would be staying on Macleay Island, in a very rural area, off the coast of Queensland, and that there were spiders in the house, and snakes out in the bush at the bottom of the garden, I was less than thrilled. First anxiety hurdle reached, thought process as follows:

"This is freaky, I hate this. Is that a spider in my hair?!?! No, just fluff. I want to go home, I miss my safe house... NO, I can stay here and be fine. I can do this. Don't give up and leave, be brave.  FIGHT: stay positive, stay strong, maybe check under the pillow every night for Huntsmans. Bring it on..." 

Hurdle cleared! Woooop! Well done Hannan, look at you fighting your way across Australia. Then came the next hurdle: First day of work. I was gardening in a garden with every Australian beast in existence lurking under leaves. Even as Eileen was explaining what I needed to do I could see 3 naughty big spiders spreading their bodies across between the plants waiting to smile at me. This time the thought process first involved a bit of FLIGHT in the form of sneaking to the loo to cry, minor tantrum, telling George I was going home and then evolving into the decision to FIGHT the fear and see how that went, or as Eileen always told me "Feel the fear and do it anyway...!" 

...The raised bed I assembled, layered
up with the good stuff and planted
those teeny babies inside all snug
in their dirty duvets... 

And it went really well! I certainly felt the fear but straight up did it anyway!

By the end of the two weeks at Eileen's house I  was so much more relaxed and so much less anxious. I was fetching tools out of the shed, (even getting the 'spider-checking-routine' down to 10 seconds from a crazy minute and a half) planting in the veggie patch that I built MYSELF, and even picking up chickens and snuggling them (a huge success after initially not even being able to stroke them for fear of having my eyes pecked away). I was a fighter, brave and true, and really enjoyed living the 'simple life' of a happy gardener living off the land.

After enjoying Macleay Island for a couple of weeks, we ventured North to the Sunshine Coast and spent a couple of weeks staying in a house with an amazing cliff/rainforest garden.

...Beautiful rainforest garden on a cliff out the
back of the house...

Having been lulled into a false sense of security with all my Fighter's "I can do this" mentality, I tackled each of the jobs head on initially. After a couple of days though, and having seen a LOT of gigantic Huntsman spiders the size of tarantulas, the routine of "work - eat - go to town - sleep - repeat" began wearing me out. I lost energy and excitement for the concept of Helpx and missed seeing friends, having personal space and feeling relaxed (because being anxious and choosing between flight and flight all day long can be terribly exhausting). All of this combined with a serious demise in dollars brought us to a big decision. Maybe it was time to bid Australia farewell and move on to visit New Zealand.

...Both indifferent to the others'
presence...

The Helpx lifestyle suits many people (and of course we had only done it for a short while) but we were ready to be in control of our time again, and not feel we had to penny pinch just for the sake of gaining another week in Australia. It felt like we were just fighting to stay in Australia, even though we couldn't afford to see any of it!

So we packed up our things, blew the last of our Australian budget on a day seeing koalas and kangaroos (obviously) and climbed onto a plane that will take us to the next destination.

Australia...it's been amazing. Life changing in fact. We love your beaches, your weather and your laid back look at life. But I've done my fighting. It's time to fly. New Zealand? Get the kettle on, we'll be there soon.

...Time to fly..!

The best laid plans of Mice and Hannan...

It's a Wednesday afternoon in the Gold Coast, East Australia and I'm sat in my room. Under my duvet. And this is how I have been spending a lot of my days lately. And the reason for this is two-fold:

...Waiting for the bus. Freezing...

1. It's winter and it's cold. Yes, even Australia gets cold. Not Britain-winter cold, but cold enough to want to be inside your house. In a duvet. With a gallon of English Breakfast tea.

2. We are short on the ol' dollar front. When we first arrived we threw that bright colourful plastic money around on coffee shops, trips around the Gold Coast, even a cheeky schooner of Aussie beer! Then, as work failed to appear and shops insisted on charging us for food, money began to run out... This resulted in our daily activities being limited to a walk to the local park, Playstation afternoons, Netflix marathons and UNO games to decide who's turn it is to clean the bathroom.

...Guess who won..?

This was NOT the plan.
The plan involved finding jobs INSTANTLY, using our money to live the care-free Australian life promised to us by Buzzfeed and Home and Away. The plan involved spending most days at the beach, overdosing on Vit-D thanks to Mr Australian Sunshine and becoming the masters of BBQing Aussie-Style. The plan involved saving enough money to travel the country  inbetween work days and seeing all Australia has to offer.

But, the funny thing about making plans is that we really shouldn't bother. As Burns once said;

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men

Gang aft a-gley..."

Which, as we all know, is Ol' Burnsy's Scottish way of saying that when Humans and Mice (??) try to make good plans, they often get all fizzed up and you realise there aint no point in making a plan in the first place.

Being a control freak and an idealist, I struggled with the notion of screwing the old plan up and creating a new one. "But....but...we said we would LIVE here for 6 months AT LEAST and it's only been 3!!"

"But...no but I've joined the library! I LIKE having a library card and doing the big shop!"

...An example of the 'free' activities we can do near
our house!"

One of The Boy's biggest struggles being married to me is that I am an imagination painter. I'm a very gifted imagination painter actually, even if I do say so myself. I can create masterpieces in supreme detail in my mind of how something will be, how it will look and how I will feel (yes, I can even paint emotions!) Without much effort I can almost feel like I know how a situation will pan out before I've even arrived there. I do it with conversations ("No...no The Boy, you're supposed to say THIS, then I can say THIS back to you!") and I do it with social events ("But I'll walk in the room and everyone will laugh at me for spilling my drink, I just KNOW that it will happen!") and I did it with travelling. It's a good job The Boy balances me out. He refuses to guess how a situation will pan out. I spend hours quizzing him about what he thinks our future dog will look like, or what our children might be like, or even what tomorrow will be like and he always says "Well, I don't know! It hasn't happened yet!" 

So when our last plastic bank note disappeared from our purse we looked at each other and finally admitted that we needed a plan-rethink. And it wasn't scary or sad actually, it was exciting! We both realised that we had been staying in our day in-day out routine because that's just what we had decided rather than it being exciting and life-changing and 'something to tell the grandkids'. I'm not sure how excited our grandchildren would be when we tell them the story of the weeks on end we spent playing UNO, waiting for SOMEONE to give us a full time job in a coffee shop...

We decided to leave our comfortable lives here in Surfer's Paradise and spread our wings across Australia. We signed up to 'Helpx', a website that links volunteers up with hosts. We are going to stay with different people all around the country, working for them in many ways in exchange for free accomodation and food. We leave in a week and are so excited to meet new people, try new activities and most of all, to actually SEE Australia!

...Our "We're-going-on-a-new-adventure!"
smiles...

And, in the spirit of me being 'free', 'spontaneous' and 'brave' as is the purpose of this year of travel (see first blog for more details on that particular hurdle) I WILL embrace the uncertainty of each new host. I WILL choose excitement over anxiety. And I WILL put down the notebook that contains all my plans and hand it over to The Boy, letting the laid-back attitude that Australia is so famous for wash over me. 

So we leave in one week! But...for now...it really is freezing and I WILL be in my duvet until the next chapter of our adventure begins. One more game of UNO anyone..?

Malteasers and Orange ones...

Once upon a grey rainy day in the North of Engand, a white VW Campervan sat on a murky field. Inside, two Pot Noodles, chicken flavour obviously, waited patiently as the water bubbled away on the nearby camping stove, and a man and a woman played scrabble with hungry tummies.

It sounds idyllic doesn't it. And it would have been, except for the fact that this is a true story, set two years ago, and this was our actual honeymoon in the Lake District. 

Aside from a Nuclear Power Plant, which we were keen to steer clear of, there was nothing in this 'coastal-location-that-shall-remain-nameless' that remotely engaged us. Having typed 'restaurants near me' into my phone, I had discovered 'there are 0 restaurants near me' (Subway it is then..) and things were looking pretty bleak. Instead of spending the evening having a romantic meal 'somewhere nice', we had to resort to a depressing Pot Noodle. And instead of a day out exploring charming boutiques and quaint cafes, we settled for a rainy afternoon in the campervan playing Scrabble in our onesies.

I tell this story not to have a moan about rain, (I happen to love the rain, being a 'Northern Lass') or complain about the Lake District (I lived there for 3 years and know it is stunning...mostly) or even to belittle Pot Noodles (there's a time and a place for sure). I tell it because it was our two year anniversary last week and it got my brain whizzing over how married life is full of surprises, both happy and disappointing, not unlike a bag of Revels. And not being one to let a good brain-whizz go undocumented, I thought it would be best if I shared...

We've all been there. You open a packet of Revels, excited, expectant, maybe a little anxious, and you begin the adventure. What will your first bite be? Well, in my experience, married life can be just the same. On your wedding day, you say those special vows, look into each others' eyes, have a cheeky smooch in front of everyone you know, then party the night away. It's certainly like choosing your first Revel and joyfully discovering it's a Malteaser! In fact, forget the Revels, it's like buying a whole box of Malteasers and eating them all in one glorious day.

But then real life begins.

For those healthy people out there, who would NEVER indulge in a whole bag of chocolates, let me explain Revels. They each have a different flavour and are covered in chocolate, which makes it very difficult to tell (for most of them) which flavour you're about to enjoy (or not..!) After Malteasers, my favourite Revel is the Toffee one. The worst one is the Orange one, and unfortunately these two look dangerously similar to the untrained eye. It would be so much easier if the Revels had special shapes to help us tell whether we are going to enjoy each one or not. It would prevent any disappointing surprises. But the fun of Revels, just like being married, is taking the risk and hoping for the best, enjoying the Toffee moments and working together through the Orange ones.

When we decided to spend a big chunk of our savings travelling the world for a year it was like we were sticking our hands into the Revels bag and hoping for the best. It could have gone so badly. We could have been mugged in India, or had our backpacks stolen in Laos. We could have been food poisoned in Cambodia or ended up homeless in Australia.

We could have had Orange after Orange after Orange Revel, until finally, one or both of us would throw the Revel packet onto the ground in a tantrum, and write a letter of complaint to the manufacturer, to let them know we had a bag entirely filled with ORANGE ones.

Thankfully, this hasn't been the case, and our metaphorical Revels bag has been a fairly even mix. Sure, we've had Orange moments. Like the 12 hours waiting for our night train (which was delayed) on a freezing cold day in India, trying to remember why we'd ever thought backpacking around the world was a good idea as we shivered on a windy platform in thin hoodies. Or last week, when my long-sought-after bike was stolen from the bike shed in town and we walked home in silence, heads low, feeling the injustice of working hard to buy something only for it to be taken by a freeloader.

But we've also had plenty of Malteaser moments as well. More than I can even think of right now. Like this aftenoon, sitting in our garden on a blanket, listening to music, playing UNO, enjoying the warmth of the sun (in WINTER! Crazy!) Or taking the dog for a walk in the park and laughing as she chases the birds like a crazy fiend.

Sometimes, when all you've eaten are Revels, from morning to evening for 6 months, it can make you cranky, (I'm still talking metaphorically here, I happen to have a very healthy, balanced diet!) Since January, The Boy and I have spent every waking (and sleeping) moment in each others' presence and every now and then we notice our irritability levels rising and a stormy moment approaching. Two years of missing the signs and engaging in unhelpful rages at each other has finally taught us that it's fine to take a step back. And breathe. And put down the "verbal-grenade" that we are dying to hurl at the other person. Sometimes we just need to put the Revels away for a couple of hours, go for a walk, have some space and then come back later and continue the Revel adventure, refreshed, recharged and reset.

Sometimes, I've expected something to go a certain way and it has taken me completely by surprise by being the exact opposite. Like the story of our honeymoon. We had expected this town to provide us with a day out exploring and enjoying fine cuisine. It was like choosing what you think is a Raisin Revel, only to discover it is in fact Coffee. In the end, you enjoy it either way, it's just different! (Who doesn't love a pyjama day playing Scrabble with a Pot Noodle hey!)

There's one Revel that breaks the rules though. It's easy to recognise and you ALWAYS know what you're getting. It's the chocolate one. It's shaped like a 'flying saucer' and even before you bring it out of the packet you know exactly what's going to go down. It isn't trying to fool anyone. It's simple, it's chocolate, you know you'll like it. It's like me and The Boy. Throughout the rest of our marriage there will be Toffees and Coffees and Malteasers and, unfortunately Orange ones, but you always know that deep down in that packet, you'll find the chocolate. And it never lets you down.

Excuse me, must dash, I have a real hankering for some Revels...